I want to know what God's plan is, and I want to know it NOW. Not next month. Not next week. Not tomorrow. NOW!
Our family is going through a really difficult time with Jason's job right now. He is working LOOOOOOOONG hours for very little pay. Last night he worked from 7:00am-6:30pm...and he's working again today (Saturday). He's barely, barely making more than unemployment. And we have no benefits. Why? Because we can't afford them. *sigh*
It's times like these that make it really hard for me to trust in God's plan. I so badly just want a job that Jason can go to, and enjoy, that allows him to spend a bunch of time at home with us (meaning no six day work weeks!). But for some reason, unknown to us, God has him at this job. My desire right now is to whine like a 2-year-old (and boy do I know what THAT'S like!), to stamp my feet and to throw a fit. But alas, I must MUST remind myself of truth.
What truth is that?
God is good.
God has our best and His glory in mind. This is really hard to believe sometimes when we're going through trials. But He does. And I MUST believe that...because it's biblical (Romans 8:28).
God uses trials to refine us, to make us more like His Son. Well, right now I feel like He's going to have to do that in spite of myself. =) I seriously feel like a grumpy 2-year-old a lot lately. It's my own fault and I need to change my attitude. Workin' on it...
God allows trials...and this trial is small in comparison to some. I'm thinking of Job right now...Job who lost all of his children, his livelihood, his wealth...all in one day. I shudder to think of how I would respond to THAT. And yet, Job gives us an example of a godly response: "'Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity?' In all this Job did not sin with his lips" (Job 2:10). So Jason has a tough job? We are all healthy, we are all fed, who am I to complain?
I have been resistant to the Holy Spirit changing me through this. Why? I dunno. I guess because I'm impatient. And stubborn. But I'm going to start choosing to think of this in a biblical and godly way. No more 2-year-old temper tantrums. =)